I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
