He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
