I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
