That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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