So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
