Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
