she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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