You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
