So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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