I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize