I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
