Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
