i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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