I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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