I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
