I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize