so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
