Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
