I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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