I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize