the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
