watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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