I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
So squirting runs in the family.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Randomize
