Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
