this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
