I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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