so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
