I got chris browned last night
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize