Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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