I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
It's official drugs can't kill me
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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