I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize