I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
