found the other keg... it's in the tree
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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