When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize