And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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