can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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