this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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