margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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