So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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