i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
