I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
