I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize