Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
this hospital has no fireball
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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