Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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