They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
