I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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