please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize