He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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