Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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