You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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