oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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