is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
