just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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