I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
