Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
