I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
