i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
The Olympian is in my bed
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
