I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
