Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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