let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
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