The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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