i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
How external is "for external use only"?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
