some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
