Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
